Remember, only love.
Energy is a real thing, and without it one cannot live.
Be mindful of petty exchanges, and speak always, from the heart.
Remember, only love.
I’m scared that I’ll never be born again.
"Do you think you will ever love me fully?"
I don’t do too much talking these days.
John Laroche: Then one morning, I woke up and said, “Fuck fish.” I renounce fish, I will never set foot in that ocean again. That’s how much “fuck fish.” That was 17 years ago and I have never stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.
Susan Orlean: But why?
John Laroche: Done with fish.
— Ram Dass
Last night I was greeted in that other place with nothing but nightmares, anxieties, fears and complete resistance on my part. Everything was coming all at once. I was too ensnared in the dream to realize I was dreaming, and all I could do was watch it unfold.
I awoke two hours later to find myself in the middle of a full-blown storm. Loud crashes of thunder and blinding lighting scouring the sky every few seconds. Sleeping no more than two feet from the window, my eyelids could not block out the flashes so I instead stayed with the storm. Lightning was cracking in mid-air. I kept thinking about being electrocuted through the window.
I could smell fear in my sweat from my dreams prior to. I was borderlining on feverish.
I did not touch her last night. I did not spoon her. My heart pounded, and my breath would not shallow.
Today, my kitchen ceiling gave way to a great flood. The ceiling literally burst open and released over half a bathtub worth of water.
Come out to play.
..for just a taste.
Sweet little plaything.
At work, it seems I have adopted the nickname “Gram Gram”. The night crew and I were talking about having children, and I sort of surprised myself saying this matter of factly: “I know I want children, but I’m just not sure when exactly.” Surprised because it is becoming more definitive as time goes by. The crew said that I would make an awesome dad. It made me smile, thinking about it.